early morning musings

I was observing lots of people earlier. Everyone were young and drinking like there was no tomorrow. Usually, people frown on these people, but when I was looking at them, I couldn't help but see the beauty of life. Why worry about things to come? Why keep on bothering your mind about worries which will come and go? Carpe diem. From this day on, I'll live each day to the fullest.

Threshold of Uncertainty

Have you ever felt you had everything already - that you're already extremely lucky - and yet you find yourself looking for a hazy something else?

At the age of 20, I am lucky. I have a very generous and loving Mom who allowed me to pursue my dreams by studying on scholarship here in France. Although I'm not particularly close to my family in such a way that I reveal my secrets and aspirations to them, I have a fantastic family who supports me in whatever venture I fancy. I have a multitude of friends in the Philippines who are always ready to lend an ear, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to do something, and feet to travel with. I have very nice friends from different races who never cease to amuse me and broaden my horizons with stories of their own culture and lifestyle. I have a special someone who is ready to put me in the center of his life.

Yet, for some unknown reason, I find myself still looking for something more. I crave for vague things which by just the feel of it, I know could break apart my "perfect" world. It feels so wrong, and yet in this bout of uncertainty, this feeling of confusion is all that I am certain of.

how can i be so cruel to the person who i love and who loves me so much?